Helping Someone Whose Mate Doesn’t Share the Faith (3)
categories: Uncategorized |Monday February 8
“If a woman has a husband who is not a believer.” 1Co 7:13 NIV
Encourage your believer friend to do this for their mate: Accept them as they are. Take the conditions off your love – as God did for you. “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us…when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son” (Ro 5:8-10 NIV). Love them with no requirements. That means:
(1) Accept them without criticism. “Don’t criticize, and then you won’t be criticized…others will treat you as you treat them” (Mt 7:1-2 TLB). Criticism always creates a standoff on spiritual issues. Instead, find qualities in them to compliment and you’ll generate openness.
(2) Accept them without comparisons. “I wish you were more like Tom. He and Lucie go to church together every Sunday and they have a great marriage.” You’re comparing apples with oranges! He’ll hear you say he’s not as good a husband as Tom, and he’ll grow to despise Tom, the church, and anything else you compare him to. Accept him as he is.
(3) Accept them without change. People resent demands for change, often changing once they feel truly accepted as they are. Change is the Holy Spirit’s job, not yours. “He will convict the world of guilt…sin and righteousness” (Jn 16:8 NIV). First, let God’s Spirit change you. Partner’s behaviors are usually responses to their better halves. When a partner changes, the other responds differently and will be more likely to change voluntarily. Follow God’s model: First, He accepts; next, He reconciles; lastly, He changes people! (See Ro 5:6-8). It worked on you!
SoulFood: Rom 3:21-6:23, Ps 125, Pr 4:3-4